Dealing with a funeral?
23-Jan-2004, 12:57 PM
#1
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 962
Dealing with a funeral?
My close uncle passed away last night
We are going to be going to his funeral, this is my first funeral and I dont know what to expect, or how to act.
Im the type of guy that wont cry, not becuase Im trying to hold it in, but just because I dont do that. Becuase of this I feel my family willl think im heartless.....
I just dont know how to act, what to say at a funeral.............any help at all would be good. The death hasent even hit me yet, but im sure at the funeral home it will.
We are going to be going to his funeral, this is my first funeral and I dont know what to expect, or how to act.
Im the type of guy that wont cry, not becuase Im trying to hold it in, but just because I dont do that. Becuase of this I feel my family willl think im heartless.....
I just dont know how to act, what to say at a funeral.............any help at all would be good. The death hasent even hit me yet, but im sure at the funeral home it will.
23-Jan-2004, 01:29 PM
#4
my condolences!
just use proper taste... I mean, don't dress like a pimp
a white shirt and dark suit is expected.
don't get drunk, don't be loud, keep your hands out of your pockets, keep your head down, and most importanly... stay by your family.
no one expects you to cry, or be a certain way. just don't draw too much attention to yourself and you'll be fine.
just use proper taste... I mean, don't dress like a pimp
a white shirt and dark suit is expected.don't get drunk, don't be loud, keep your hands out of your pockets, keep your head down, and most importanly... stay by your family.
no one expects you to cry, or be a certain way. just don't draw too much attention to yourself and you'll be fine.
23-Jan-2004, 01:32 PM
#5
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ontario
Posts: 18,367
My condolences.
It is part of growing up. Not everyone get emotional and you don't have to cry at a funeral. You are there to pay the last respect for the dead and hope he moves on to somewhere nice, like Heaven for instance. You don't need to say anything during the service. Just reflect on the good times you and your uncle had shared before.
When the moment hits you, you will cry. When my Grandpa died, I cried uncontrolablely. I even cried about his death 3 or 4 years after it. Now I am ok.
It is part of growing up. Not everyone get emotional and you don't have to cry at a funeral. You are there to pay the last respect for the dead and hope he moves on to somewhere nice, like Heaven for instance. You don't need to say anything during the service. Just reflect on the good times you and your uncle had shared before.
When the moment hits you, you will cry. When my Grandpa died, I cried uncontrolablely. I even cried about his death 3 or 4 years after it. Now I am ok.
23-Jan-2004, 01:37 PM
#8
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 23,881
yea, funerals suck...my condolences...and its a part of growin up no doubt, as I have gotten older I have been to a few too many funerals and some for people my own age (those ones are the worst) and **** dude if u gotta cry let it out, nobody will think any less of you for it, its human nature...and just seeing family or close friends cry is more than enough for most people to feel the pain and have it hit them and make them cry.
23-Jan-2004, 01:41 PM
#9
Originally posted by egproject
That's fine man..
Remember, a funeral is the LAST place for people to be overly critical!
That's fine man..
Remember, a funeral is the LAST place for people to be overly critical!
as for crying... I'm the same way... I've never cried at a funeral... or any other place for that matter.
sum ppl just don't have it in them.
23-Jan-2004, 01:45 PM
#11
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 496
No one expects you to cry..
I've been to many funerals unfortunately. I've learned to just be respectable. Give your last goodbyes with a level of good taste that is suitable to such a somber occasion. And again, no one will judge you unless you start up a card game during the viewing or start to be loud and boisterous to say hi to relatives on the other side of the room.. you know what i mean??
I've been to many funerals unfortunately. I've learned to just be respectable. Give your last goodbyes with a level of good taste that is suitable to such a somber occasion. And again, no one will judge you unless you start up a card game during the viewing or start to be loud and boisterous to say hi to relatives on the other side of the room.. you know what i mean??
23-Jan-2004, 02:48 PM
#12
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 962
im sure ill act fine, im just worried.....Im not going to be outgoing like its some family event.....I know its going to be sad and hard....do I even go talking to people or what? do I have to go up to the casket? its all tough for me cause its the first time im faced with something of this nature.
23-Jan-2004, 02:55 PM
#13
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,672
Been to two funerals and a wake. One was my freind's mother. So far two of my freind's mothers have died, one of those friends it practically my wifey, and mom's friend's husband who I knew since I was a little kid. Missed wifey's mom's the funeral though cause we weren't really speaking at the time and I had no idea what happened. Still feel guilty to this day. Both of these people are burried in the same cemetary too. Everytime I drive by there I shut off the radio and stuff out of repsect.
Never cried at any of these. It's wierd. Can't seem to do it.
Never cried at any of these. It's wierd. Can't seem to do it.
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