So, before I get started, here is a link to the old thread, should anybody want to refresh their memory as to what this is about.

http://www.torontocivics.com/tccforu...threadid=87037

Now then...

I was back cutting the lawn at this one woman's house and all I could think about was the nasty woman that lives next door and last weeks cougar attack. Or as I was told, mountain lion or prehistoric creature... whatever. So, unable to get that stomache churning memory out of my head I look over at the cougar's house and notice the car is gone. WOOT! My day improves ten fold and I begin to happily continue mowing the lawn and listing to my CD player.

About 2 songs or so later the hair stands up on the back of my neck. I have no idea why but there is this over whelming sense of dread that comes over me. I look up and the cougar's car is in the drive way and there is one eye poking out from between the curtains in the bay window. Great... just what I need, a senior stalker...

So, I keep my head down, don't look up and just keep mowing. I finish up the lawn, and I'm packing up the mower, getting ready to load it when there is this tap on my shoulder... (i gotta remember to turn the music off when not mowing) There she is dressed like any normal grandmother would which somehow made her look WORSE than her bathing suit. Why I have NO IDEA.

Now maybe I'm just slow but it finally dawns on me that she has an APPLE PIE in her hands! WTF? And then she starts talking to me. I had to hold up my hand because my headphones are still in my ears so I took them out and she told me that she was really sorry about how she treated me last week. That she could see why I could be insulted and then starts rambling on about how lonely she is. I swear I wanted to fire the mower back up and hit her with it as was suggested in the last thread. It honestly went through my mind. I'd never do it, but I thought about it. So she drones on and on for a bit, then finally says that she baked me this pie to say how sorry she was.

As politely as I could, I declined the pie saying that I really wasn't one for sweets (HUGE LIE) and that I really was trying to watch my calories. I swear I thought I saw her heart break. I told her that I could accept it, but that I honestly wouldn't eat it and I didn't want such a beautiful pie to go to waste.

I know my stories usually end in a funny note but this really was a tad upsetting. Not enough to make me EVER want to sleep with her, and basic friendship is out because I know everytime I turned around she would be taking mental pictures to add to her late night two finger tango sessions. Even still, I kinda feel bad for her.

Anyway, I thought you guys and gals out there might want to know how the story continued.

 

just read the previous thread and EEK

 

LMFAO...i fuken love the way you tell your stores man git-r-done!!

keep up the great writing

 

wow what an ending to the story.

 

Ending??? ending???thats no ending... the summer is still happening and he'll still have grass to cut there.. this will continue... I can't wait for the next installment

 

oh its a weekly thing?

 

that's why i'm loving it...theres going to be a part 3,4,5 etc.

 

so are you going to sleep with her next week?

 

STICKY! (referring to the thread, you pervs....not the warm apple pie)

 

man, i could use some ***** now to make me forget about my freakin frustrating e-brake cable removal. damn!!!!

 

LMAO....that always solves everything...

 

hes gotta.......shes prolly into the kamu sutra stuff jus tell her to shave her treasure trail

 

(shudders)

lol

 

LOl, should of accepted the pie

 

Have you seen American Pie? Good, I am sure you have.

Now, you just wasted a perfectly good pie.

 

Aye. I cut this lawn every week.

 

man, don't accept anything, EVER

if you accept one thing..... one week it's apple pie, next week it'll be a back rub, week after it'll be fellatio

 

do a threesome..... im sure she has a friend just as old

picture that..... 2 granny like women, and a young guy....

DO IT, and i'll move out there to do the lawn 4 ya every week

 

make sure you bring some high temperature friction grease for them grannies. damn, my install is getting to me...sorry.

 

food is different if it's free you accept it.. that's it, not food at her place or in her bed... but as long as she's bringin it to ya..

who cares even if she brings you apple pie each week i could give two ***** about if she thought iw as hot or not, cuz i'd be getting apple pie on a weekly basis for doing absolutley nothing...

damn where are all the black people on here... someone back me up here, if it's free you take it and run, don't ask quesitons, and even if you don't need it!