funny bar joke & sick at the same time.
22-Apr-2004 | 03:09 PM
#1
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,145
funny bar joke & sick at the same time.
Funny Bar Jokes - Lucky Guy
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.
were gonna smoke philly tonight.
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.
were gonna smoke philly tonight.
22-Apr-2004 | 03:59 PM
#3
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 23,881
speakin of bar jokes...
there was this town of vampires and in the town there was a bar. The first vampire walks in and asks the bar keep for a double blood on the rocks, so the bartender gives him his drink. A few minutes later another vampire walks in, sits down and orders a bloody mary, hold the mary. He gets his drink and all is well. About 20min later a stranger walks in and asks the bartender for cup of boiling water. The bartender is puzzled and asks the stranger "you do know this is a town of vampires dont you?" and the stranger replies "yes I do" as he pulls out of his pocket a used tampon and says "I'm making tea!"
there was this town of vampires and in the town there was a bar. The first vampire walks in and asks the bar keep for a double blood on the rocks, so the bartender gives him his drink. A few minutes later another vampire walks in, sits down and orders a bloody mary, hold the mary. He gets his drink and all is well. About 20min later a stranger walks in and asks the bartender for cup of boiling water. The bartender is puzzled and asks the stranger "you do know this is a town of vampires dont you?" and the stranger replies "yes I do" as he pulls out of his pocket a used tampon and says "I'm making tea!"
22-Apr-2004 | 04:01 PM
#4
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: funny bar joke & sick at the same time.
Originally posted by imported2nv
Funny Bar Jokes - Lucky Guy
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.
Funny Bar Jokes - Lucky Guy
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.
gross, but good!
22-Apr-2004 | 06:11 PM
#10
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.
#2 Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the
Government.
#3 We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the
People.
#4 The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.
#5 And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to
check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding
the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see his father in bed
with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class,while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep ****. "
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.
#2 Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the
Government.
#3 We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the
People.
#4 The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.
#5 And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to
check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding
the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see his father in bed
with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class,while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep ****. "
22-Apr-2004 | 09:39 PM
#15
Banned
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 3,587
From: Oakville
well if i ever work at a bar and soem chick comes up to me i'm gon run. But before my shift im gon check for paper in the washroom. If they got some and some chick comes up 2 me, i will know shes comin up for me and not to wipe **** on me.
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