Girl Trouble....Need Advice....
05-Apr-2005, 10:17 PM
#41
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Oshawa, ON
Posts: 432
Ok, here's my advice...
Fact one... most hot chicks date ******** because ******** are the usually only ones with ***** enough to ask them out. Otherwise, quite often people are to busy judging them by thinking the are stupid, out of their league or stuck up. I think we like to hate beautiful people more than criminals.
Fact two... if you try to play the friend angle from the start, she will think of you as a friend and then won't want to change that because she has created a safe happy place. The friend approach in the beginning is the WORST thing you can ever do. Girls may say that is what they would prefer and honestly beleave that... but trust me, it's just shooting yourself in the foot. They always say years later "I had such a crush on you, but I didn't want to wreck our friendship"
Fact three... don't worry about her just getting out of a long relationship, that means nothing. The feelings could have died months ago, but they just never got around to killing the relationship. Happens all the time. If she was hopelessly in love with the guy and just got dumped, then it might be an issue, otherwise, forget about it. Truth is, I wouldn't care if she was STILL IN a relationship. As long as you don't lie, and you don't actually know the guy she is dating... pfft... go for it. If she goes for you, she didnt really think that much of the guy she was dating in the first place. Just NEVER go after a buddies girl... everything else is fair game. All is fair in love and war, remember.
Fact four... No matter how good she (or any girl) looks right now, somebody somewhere is tired of putting up with her crap.
So... after having gone over those four key facts...
Ask her out. Nicely mind you, don't just "whip it out", per say. Don't go proclaiming your overwhelming love either. I knew this one girl I would have masacred whole city blocks for. She was the hottest thing on two feet. Took her out on a date, and 5 minutes after she opened her mouth, I just wanted to end the date and run for the hills.
I say, ask her out, go on a simple date like a light dinner. Take her to a movie, and then a nice coffee and dessert after. Make sure it's a DATE though. Also, don't hesitate to ask more than once if she says no the first time. I'm not saying ask everyday like a stalker, but always be friendly talk about small stuff, and once every month or so, ask her out. I'm willing to bet she will say yes to the first ask though.
Thats my advice for whatever it's worth...
Fact one... most hot chicks date ******** because ******** are the usually only ones with ***** enough to ask them out. Otherwise, quite often people are to busy judging them by thinking the are stupid, out of their league or stuck up. I think we like to hate beautiful people more than criminals.
Fact two... if you try to play the friend angle from the start, she will think of you as a friend and then won't want to change that because she has created a safe happy place. The friend approach in the beginning is the WORST thing you can ever do. Girls may say that is what they would prefer and honestly beleave that... but trust me, it's just shooting yourself in the foot. They always say years later "I had such a crush on you, but I didn't want to wreck our friendship"
Fact three... don't worry about her just getting out of a long relationship, that means nothing. The feelings could have died months ago, but they just never got around to killing the relationship. Happens all the time. If she was hopelessly in love with the guy and just got dumped, then it might be an issue, otherwise, forget about it. Truth is, I wouldn't care if she was STILL IN a relationship. As long as you don't lie, and you don't actually know the guy she is dating... pfft... go for it. If she goes for you, she didnt really think that much of the guy she was dating in the first place. Just NEVER go after a buddies girl... everything else is fair game. All is fair in love and war, remember.
Fact four... No matter how good she (or any girl) looks right now, somebody somewhere is tired of putting up with her crap.
So... after having gone over those four key facts...
Ask her out. Nicely mind you, don't just "whip it out", per say. Don't go proclaiming your overwhelming love either. I knew this one girl I would have masacred whole city blocks for. She was the hottest thing on two feet. Took her out on a date, and 5 minutes after she opened her mouth, I just wanted to end the date and run for the hills.
I say, ask her out, go on a simple date like a light dinner. Take her to a movie, and then a nice coffee and dessert after. Make sure it's a DATE though. Also, don't hesitate to ask more than once if she says no the first time. I'm not saying ask everyday like a stalker, but always be friendly talk about small stuff, and once every month or so, ask her out. I'm willing to bet she will say yes to the first ask though.
Thats my advice for whatever it's worth...
05-Apr-2005, 10:28 PM
#42
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: East Scarborough, Ontario
Posts: 47
I don't know the girl well enough to judge, but 20 is too young to think about marriage. When you're 25, I'll bet you'll be a different guy and look at things like this differently, so go for broke, ask her out, and if she says no, then move on and don't get hung up on her. Girls in their early 20s don't usually commit anyways, and further to the above gentleman's point, girls who date jerks usually have low self-esteem.
Oh, and if you do take her out for a coffee, go to a Second Cup or a Starbucks (I mean to say Star-lots-of-Bucks) instead. Yes, the java costs more, but the atmosphere is a bit better than Tim Hortons, where you get all kinds of people and those loitering folks with no shame who do homework there. Good luck. Don't do dinner and movie yet. Make it light, so in case it doesn't work out, you blow $3 on her instead of $30
Oh, and if you do take her out for a coffee, go to a Second Cup or a Starbucks (I mean to say Star-lots-of-Bucks) instead. Yes, the java costs more, but the atmosphere is a bit better than Tim Hortons, where you get all kinds of people and those loitering folks with no shame who do homework there. Good luck. Don't do dinner and movie yet. Make it light, so in case it doesn't work out, you blow $3 on her instead of $30
05-Apr-2005, 11:03 PM
#43
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 115
Originally posted by Double_B
It sounds like to me that you are already in love before you even had a first date. I think you should tread carefully and just relax, have some fun, cause it't gonna hurt like a biatch if you love her and all she want's to be is just friends.......
It sounds like to me that you are already in love before you even had a first date. I think you should tread carefully and just relax, have some fun, cause it't gonna hurt like a biatch if you love her and all she want's to be is just friends.......
don't rush man.. your young and have lots of time.. go to parties and have random sex..
06-Apr-2005, 12:22 AM
#47
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 448
The one thing u dont wanna do is get TOO ATTACHED cuz if things dont go ur way then ur heart will be broken take it day by day... kinda hintin out that ur interested by the odd flirt lol then she'll realize that ur interested ... and u never know she might be the one .. but u cant say that now ... cuz u never know, u could be wit her for a month then u cant stand her .. it happens
i was in the same boat as u were.. i took my time, i didnt know if she was ready for a relationship but i tired hey it worked out perfect.. we've been together for about 3-4 weeks and let me tell u shes the best thing that ever happened to me
lol
Hey do me a Favour? reach down ur pants and try to find some ***** man lol U CAN DO IT!!! jks
DONT MESS UP lol relax take ur time, dont get attached, and hey who knows it might happen sooner or later i wish u all the best man hope it works out for u
<<< first undefeated season YES WE RULE
i was in the same boat as u were.. i took my time, i didnt know if she was ready for a relationship but i tired hey it worked out perfect.. we've been together for about 3-4 weeks and let me tell u shes the best thing that ever happened to me
lolHey do me a Favour? reach down ur pants and try to find some ***** man lol U CAN DO IT!!! jks
DONT MESS UP lol relax take ur time, dont get attached, and hey who knows it might happen sooner or later i wish u all the best man hope it works out for u
<<< first undefeated season YES WE RULE
06-Apr-2005, 12:38 AM
#48
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 147
Ok guys....well see the thing is....
yeah I'm gonna ask her out no problem....im taking sabre's and others advice and ignoring the fact that she was in a year relationship because she even told me there wasn't any feelings because she was dating a west indies dude and the culture factor was a huge problem....but anyways..theres on problem a few signs if shes not interested is that
she never messages me on msn....i msg her (and i asked her for her msn)....I have no idea what this could mean...
i had her number from before cuz we were gonna see eachother at a club onetime but never happened....and at this time she had a bf....but now shes single and i have her number...should i continue talking to her on msn msging her....or call her i wanna ask her out this friday when shez at work....even sometimes she doesnt reply to my messages I donno wtf is wrong with this girl cuz when shes around me shes always flirty wants to go on break wit me....clued out
n for the last time im talking about marriage here lol wifey means dating her for a substantial period of time and treating her as a wife not literally....lol get it....
ok guys set me up with this friday... and dont worry ill whip it out when i get her in the backseat
yeah I'm gonna ask her out no problem....im taking sabre's and others advice and ignoring the fact that she was in a year relationship because she even told me there wasn't any feelings because she was dating a west indies dude and the culture factor was a huge problem....but anyways..theres on problem a few signs if shes not interested is that
she never messages me on msn....i msg her (and i asked her for her msn)....I have no idea what this could mean...
i had her number from before cuz we were gonna see eachother at a club onetime but never happened....and at this time she had a bf....but now shes single and i have her number...should i continue talking to her on msn msging her....or call her i wanna ask her out this friday when shez at work....even sometimes she doesnt reply to my messages I donno wtf is wrong with this girl cuz when shes around me shes always flirty wants to go on break wit me....clued out
n for the last time im talking about marriage here lol wifey means dating her for a substantial period of time and treating her as a wife not literally....lol get it....
ok guys set me up with this friday... and dont worry ill whip it out when i get her in the backseat
06-Apr-2005, 12:54 AM
#49
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 448
Originally posted by sj85
ok guys set me up with this friday... and dont worry ill whip it out when i get her in the backseat
ok guys set me up with this friday... and dont worry ill whip it out when i get her in the backseat
Does she know u Still have her number? if not jus ask for it again so she knows ur going to call sometime dont surprise her with the "hey its me ur stalker" maybe she forgot u got her number
as for askin her out ... well after work ask her if she wants to go for a coffee or get something to eat
be nice and pay lol dont be cheap love is on the line
hey but if thinkin about it helps u sleep then go right ahead
06-Apr-2005, 01:55 AM
#53
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 147
another thing...her ex boyfriend was relly fat and no style whatsoever now here i am fit in shape muscular build....i work at gap for godsakes....shouldn't that be a blessing on her part i mean she knows im a nice guy...for some reason i dunno if she'll give in....she consideres me a typical brown guy who drives a suped up civic....although ive defended myself many times...what can i show that will really let her know i like her besides telling her and simply asking her out like i wanna be unique on this girl pull some next sht u know lol....
06-Apr-2005, 02:10 AM
#54
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ...
Posts: 3,383
Originally posted by CyniKal.Mindset
dude, u arent gonna whip it out...ur asking a car club for advice on a girl...LOL
dude, u arent gonna whip it out...ur asking a car club for advice on a girl...LOL
I was in the same situation as you with my current girlfriend (before we started going out), but instead of her ignoring me and such, we talked all the time (as friends) although I had it on my mind that I was going to ask her out sometime soon......but, what you could do, that i did..and it actually worked was....go out with her as friends.....see how close she actually is with you .ie. touchy feely stuff, maybe holding hands, go for that one, it always seems to work, or just look for signs while u talk to her that she actually likes talking to you, like if she plays with her hair, or tends to laugh at all ur obviously stupid jokes.......then if u really thing that ur "night out as friends" really went well, then u could either just give her a hug and leave and ask her out by, say a text message after saying how much fun u had while u were with her, or just straight up ask her while ur there with her, based on how u feel the nights been going that is...
but heres what you don't do!!
DONT follow peoples advice and go to a movie!!!...What the f*ck are u going to do during the movie...like, u gotta be able to talk to her to get her to like you in the first place right, and a movie is just wasted time where u 2 will be completely silent and watch that crap on the screen until u have to leave and end up being unsatisfied because u realized after that the movie idea sucked!...the only reason ur supossed to go to movies with girls now..is when u actually have her as a girlfriend and ur outa ideas of where u could go and get a BJ.....lol.......then u go to AMC where the seats drink holders fold up.....<_<.......>_>.......<_<...but ya, go to a place where u can talk to her..face to face, and not have tons of distractions and such...like.....um.......well, i can't think of any right now, but i'll get back to u on that one...
06-Apr-2005, 03:19 AM
#56
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: North York, Toronto-Downtown, London
Posts: 2,316
take your time, don't rush things... if you care about her, she'll eventually notice it... have some private time with her... do some talking... share some interests.... then step by step, express more of you personal views and feelings... drop her hints that you have interest in her... when the "timing" is right, tell her in a nice/creatie way how you got this feeling for her but then you also understand her so you don't want to rush her... (i agree some of the above posts on this point)... then let your actions show her you would be there for her when she needs you... give her more confidence and reliability in you... then she'll feel more comfortable with you... then if you two are meant to be, she'll grow the strong feelings for you too.... of course, when its upto that point, you can bring out more actions than words.... because she'll just probably wait for you to take the action....
good luck... just take things easy, don't stress yourself too much, things come and go... the right one will come when its the right time...
after reading page 3 of this thread:
first off, her ex being fat has nothing related to the outcome between you and her... a fat guy can have great personality too... she can like fat guys, she can like skinny guys, so its her preference and if she is cool about it, everything is cool... indeed, this proven she's not a shallow lady... she looks deeper than looks and appearance...
second off, people don't stick on msn 24/7, sometimes i don't reply people too even i see msg and i don't go msg people unless i'm into DEEP DEEP boredom... so i guess whenever she isn't talking to you on msn, she is just doing something... also, she doesn't msg you because she sorta expect you to msg her already... that is a possible reason...
good luck... just take things easy, don't stress yourself too much, things come and go... the right one will come when its the right time...
after reading page 3 of this thread:
first off, her ex being fat has nothing related to the outcome between you and her... a fat guy can have great personality too... she can like fat guys, she can like skinny guys, so its her preference and if she is cool about it, everything is cool... indeed, this proven she's not a shallow lady... she looks deeper than looks and appearance...
second off, people don't stick on msn 24/7, sometimes i don't reply people too even i see msg and i don't go msg people unless i'm into DEEP DEEP boredom... so i guess whenever she isn't talking to you on msn, she is just doing something... also, she doesn't msg you because she sorta expect you to msg her already... that is a possible reason...
06-Apr-2005, 04:20 AM
#57
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: St. Catharines
Posts: 1,362
Originally posted by CyniKal.Mindset
take her out to the rippers and get drunk...trust me!!!
take her out to the rippers and get drunk...trust me!!!
