Joke of the day
29-Jan-2003, 09:38 AM
#1
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Joke of the day
A young lad comes home from school and says to hismom, "Mom I've got a problem."
"Tell me," she says. He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.
He says, "Well, '*****' and 'bitch'."
"Oh, that's no big deal," says the boy's mom.
"'*****' is a cat, like our little Mittens, and 'bitch' is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop
in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know,and I asked mom, but I don't think she told me the exact meaning."
"Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?" asks the boy's dad.
He tells him the words are "*****" and "bitch."
"OK," says dad and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf. Taking a marker,dad circles the pubic area of the centerfold and
says, "Son, everything inside this circle, is *****."
"OK, dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."
"Tell me," she says. He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.
He says, "Well, '*****' and 'bitch'."
"Oh, that's no big deal," says the boy's mom.
"'*****' is a cat, like our little Mittens, and 'bitch' is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop
in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know,and I asked mom, but I don't think she told me the exact meaning."
"Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?" asks the boy's dad.
He tells him the words are "*****" and "bitch."
"OK," says dad and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf. Taking a marker,dad circles the pubic area of the centerfold and
says, "Son, everything inside this circle, is *****."
"OK, dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."
29-Jan-2003, 11:13 AM
#5
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Posts: 2,990
My turn...
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other
kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, it's because you're 25.
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other
kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, it's because you're 25.
29-Jan-2003, 01:25 PM
#10
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 946
Originally posted by HappyB16
My turn...
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other
kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, it's because you're 25.
My turn...
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other
kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, it's because you're 25.
29-Jan-2003, 01:30 PM
#11
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Your sisters bedroom
Posts: 30,142
Tell me if this is good.....
One day a man was really constipated and couldn't take a **** for weeks. He then went to the doctor after work one day. He asked the doc "My *** is really starting to hurt"
The doc said "Well, we did the tests, and it seems like you are constipated, when is the last time you took a ****?"
The man replied "It was like 1-2 weeks ago, that might be the problem"
The Doc then said he would be right back, he is going to get some pills. The Doc then returned and told the man to turn around and lay down on the examination bed so he can put the pill in his behind.
The man asked "Why does the pill got to go in my ***?"
The Doc said " It works 10x faster and gets right to the exact point"
The man said "Ok, as long I do not have to go through this imberible pain anymore"
So the doc then stuck it in and the man SCREAMED like a little baby. The Doc then told him he should get someone to put these pills up his *** every 4 hours.
So the man then went home and 4 hours later asked his wife to put the pill up his ***. So his wife then put one hand on the mans shoulder so she could get a good push in it, and then the man screamed " HOLY ****, THE DOC HAD 2 HANDS ON MY SHOULDER ! ! "
One day a man was really constipated and couldn't take a **** for weeks. He then went to the doctor after work one day. He asked the doc "My *** is really starting to hurt"
The doc said "Well, we did the tests, and it seems like you are constipated, when is the last time you took a ****?"
The man replied "It was like 1-2 weeks ago, that might be the problem"
The Doc then said he would be right back, he is going to get some pills. The Doc then returned and told the man to turn around and lay down on the examination bed so he can put the pill in his behind.
The man asked "Why does the pill got to go in my ***?"
The Doc said " It works 10x faster and gets right to the exact point"
The man said "Ok, as long I do not have to go through this imberible pain anymore"
So the doc then stuck it in and the man SCREAMED like a little baby. The Doc then told him he should get someone to put these pills up his *** every 4 hours.
So the man then went home and 4 hours later asked his wife to put the pill up his ***. So his wife then put one hand on the mans shoulder so she could get a good push in it, and then the man screamed " HOLY ****, THE DOC HAD 2 HANDS ON MY SHOULDER ! ! "
29-Jan-2003, 02:49 PM
#13
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: In a JDM world
Posts: 3,462
LOL
2 male rabbit's sitting on a hill, Frank and Sam. The valley below is full of female rabbit's. Frank turns to Sam and say's, "Hey Sam, why don't we run down the hill and **** one of them rabbits?"
"No," say Sam "why don't we walk down and **** them all!"
So the 2 strut down the hill and start going at it. At one point Frank losses it. He start's going nut's, like an animal!
"Whambamthankyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamthan kyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamsorrysam,whambam thankyoumam!"
2 male rabbit's sitting on a hill, Frank and Sam. The valley below is full of female rabbit's. Frank turns to Sam and say's, "Hey Sam, why don't we run down the hill and **** one of them rabbits?"
"No," say Sam "why don't we walk down and **** them all!"
So the 2 strut down the hill and start going at it. At one point Frank losses it. He start's going nut's, like an animal!
"Whambamthankyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamthan kyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamsorrysam,whambam thankyoumam!"
29-Jan-2003, 03:03 PM
#14
Sorry Sam!!!! Hahaha LOL
"Whambamthankyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamthan kyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamsorrysam, whambamthankyoumam!"
I missed it the first time...I was thinking...where's the rest of the joke??
"Whambamthankyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamthan kyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamsorrysam, whambamthankyoumam!"
I missed it the first time...I was thinking...where's the rest of the joke??
29-Jan-2003, 03:18 PM
#16
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: In a JDM world
Posts: 3,462
Originally posted by bbarbulo
Sorry Sam!!!! Hahaha LOL
"Whambamthankyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamthan kyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamsorrysam, whambamthankyoumam!"
I missed it the first time...I was thinking...where's the rest of the joke??
Sorry Sam!!!! Hahaha LOL
"Whambamthankyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamthan kyoumam,whambamthankyoumam,whambamsorrysam, whambamthankyoumam!"
I missed it the first time...I was thinking...where's the rest of the joke??
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