Jokes: Top 8 Idiots of 2002
13-Aug-2003, 09:57 PM
#1
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Vancouver
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Jokes: Top 8 Idiots of 2002
top 8 Idiots of 2002
Number One Idiot of 2002
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman
called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter in to the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that
she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot of 2002
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast
Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot of 2002
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch And wrote
"this iz a stikkup.Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left
the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor,
told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Number four Idiot of 2002
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his
car. He later received, in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police
department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Number Five Idiot of 2002
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the
cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the Cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the
police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
Idiot Number Six of 2002
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
Idiot Number Seven of 2002
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window
was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Idiot Number Eight of 2002
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at
12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Number One Idiot of 2002
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman
called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter in to the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that
she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot of 2002
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast
Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot of 2002
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch And wrote
"this iz a stikkup.Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left
the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor,
told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Number four Idiot of 2002
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his
car. He later received, in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police
department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Number Five Idiot of 2002
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the
cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the Cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the
police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
Idiot Number Six of 2002
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
Idiot Number Seven of 2002
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window
was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Idiot Number Eight of 2002
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at
12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
14-Aug-2003, 02:27 PM
#17
I used to work at a Petro Can... I got robbed at 4AM one morning... it was one of my days when I worked 24 hours straight, and that was hour 20, cuz I worked for the gov't 7AM - 3PM , then 3:30 - 8:30AM at petro can. I liked my boss/owner... I kinda felt bad, and I'd never take the other cash float.
18-Aug-2003, 07:35 AM
#19
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A Place Called Ontario
Posts: 3,694
HAHA i like the cop one, sending them a picture of $40...haha that'z something i would do...haha yah okay i'm dumb....haha but i'd do it...haha i mean come on....that is funny ****....hahaha
