szuberi

lol....

imported_loudsubz

You gotta make marriages work...plain and simple.

The stats are high for how many marriages fail and end up in divorce.

The key is open communication. You might not love one another after awhile like you did when you first met, so you have to make it work together.

Don't go into a marriage thinking a ring + love is all you need, if you do, your marriage is doomed.

imported_Bruce Fee

and always remember an assassin is probably cheaper than divorce!

imported_civic_blondie87

people get married way too young and too quickly... date someone for 5 years and live with them then get married, none of this OMG WE;VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR LETS GET MARRIED stupidness

imported_TuttiGirl

yeah like so Im like totally stupid *flips hair like a barbie doll* this may be your opinion, but to call people stupid is in-mature. Would you call me stupid at my wedding b/c Marty and I got engaged after 6 months?


You've obviously not been in the situation where you know that he's the one, end of story, you dont want anyone else...

You know when you know...

doesnt matter how much or how little time there is

HKBC

I'll have to live with someone for at least a year before i marry them. I think Living with a girl is the final boundary between your best friend in the world in the form of a girl with a ***** that you love and a wife that you love.

civicnation

When you get married you have to put up with the girl's bull****, it is as simple as that. If you can put up with and entertain it, you are successfully married. Not really that hard to do especially if you "love" the person. If you cannot put up with it then get ready for the divorce.

Bull****=all the whiney needy crap girls throw at you.

imported_JoonyaSI

*presses pause*

just gotta say that my topics kick *** ... as per usual ...


*presses play*


Continue to "Discuss..."

Cynikal.Mindset

seriously, some poop came outta my bum on that one...I was laughing so hard...too funny

imported_civic_blondie87

i saw you today on speers.


and k obviously there are exceptions, if you're lucky enough to meet the right person and fall in love that quickly then you're lucky, i wish it was that simple for everyone. but all im saying is a lot of people rush into marriage without getting to fully know the person their with thats why i think the divorce rate is so high and a lot of people regret it. alot of young people think their in love and have found the one so they get married and 5 years later realize it was a mistake, thats why im saying that i think more time should be taken before you get married. and like i said that doesnt apply for everyone.

and i resent that barbie doll comment, jsut because i happen to be tall thin and blonde doesnt mean im an airheaded idiot valley girl.

imported_civic_blondie87

civicnation

She didn't really call you out specifically, but you took offense to it and reacted to it. An opinion should not be taken as a personal attack. I agree with civic_blondie87 that people should be together for a long time and even live together before they get hitched in order to prevent later troubles, but that doesn't mean I'm calling you out and condemning your decision.

Heaven27

I agree wit jessica...i was in a relationsihp for over a yr n then things didnt work out and i felt so stupid for thinkin that it was so serious and that we'd get married

...even if u find the right guy jus ta make sure things work out wudn u wanna spend more than a yr to kno tha instead of things messin up later on down the road

Cynikal.Mindset

doesnt matter if you are together a year or 20...if its doomed its doomed regardless

Bovard

it's getting to know teh other person well, but that varies among people. each situation &relationship is different, i don't think that there are specific timelines, since no two relationships or people are the same

imported_Shazza

totally. you absolutely cannot put a marriage timeline on any relationship as each is different. i know someone who got married after 6 months of meeting her now husband. i also know ppl who have never lived with their spouse until they got married. i also know ppl who did live with their spouse before getting married. all are still happily married and raising families.

also, sometimes if you stay too long with a person and/or live with them...the prospect of marriage dwindles b/c so much time has past (i've seen this happen several times). living with someone is not the same as being married to someone. you're more likely to try your hardest with someone you're married to then with the gf/bf you merely live with.

timing is everything, but the length of time is not.

SilverCRXSi

Couldnt have said it better myself.
People dont realize that it takes work.

And stats show that living together makes no dif on the divorce rate, but I do remember that people that don't live together have a slightly higher chance of staying together.
PErsonally I wouldnt live w/ someone before marriage unless their was a good reason (our place is ready a few months b4 hand)

I'm also dont think theirs a set time limit. I'd consider marrying someone after knowing them a year. (Know them a yr, plan a marriage, an additional yr) so say 2 at the min. But if i meet someone here at Guelph (school), it'd prob be more like 3-4yrs from this point. But thats IF i met someone tomorrow.
I would DEF. go through all the pre-marriage counselling to make sure (well help atleast I hope) in making sure we are right for each other. Maybe even after to make sure things dont stay bottled up. Communication is key.
But thats me.

And the divorce rate here is about 30% (still high) but not as bad as the 50% it is in the states.
Im done.

Gallagher

see this is the one thing I dont understand......

Date someone for 5 years and THEN live with them for a year to see if they are the right one? Are you kidding me? What if they aren't the right one? You just pretty well wasted 6 years of your life!

If you dont know if they are the right one after 6-12 months, then man, you got some issues. I know there are circumstances, but really tho!

As for the comment about the person getting hurt and you still loving them? You never know untill it happens. NEVER!

What if that persons face was burnt to ****, eye lids burnt closed and couldn't talk and pee'd him/herself all the time.

ughh..!

szuberi

i dont get why about half of the (love) marriages fail in the first few years or so when people live/date together beforehand????

imported_TuttiGirl

^^^ I think because people are lazy...they arent willing anymore to work on relationships or issues anymore. They say the number one reason marriages or relationships fail is because of money. I can see that having a huge impact on the first couple years of a marriage, and that making it dissolve...