Men's Rules
15-Mar-2004, 02:18 AM
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Toronto
Posts: 905
Men's Rules
Thought some of you guys would get a kick out of this... Just got it as a fwd in my email...
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MEN'S RULES
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining when you leave it down.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1. "Yes" and "No"are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 moths ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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MEN'S RULES
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining when you leave it down.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1. "Yes" and "No"are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 moths ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
15-Mar-2004, 09:27 PM
#14
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 12,906
Originally posted by Nova_Dust
Apparently, CC69 is the idealistic girl that most guys are after, if she agrees to the above statements
YOU GO GIRL!! And I just can't focus everytime I see the number **...
Apparently, CC69 is the idealistic girl that most guys are after, if she agrees to the above statements
YOU GO GIRL!! And I just can't focus everytime I see the number **...
are you single Civic Chick **? cause i'm single...
15-Mar-2004, 11:07 PM
#16
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ontario
Posts: 18,367
Taken is like saying "I got dibs on this and that"
Well you ain't cause who ever shows up at the door with cash gets the dibs.
[stiffiler's voice]
Dibs this biatch
[/stiffiler's voice]
Well, CC69, you can be everyone's sweet heart on the TCC forum, you know, play the little devil girl image just to keep the susage fest a little bit cheerful. So people would stop FLAMING at each other and whatnot. I am not saying you are the village bike, but you know....
Ok, maybe I should stop talking now before things get a little bit out of control.
*watches American Wedding, again*
Well you ain't cause who ever shows up at the door with cash gets the dibs.
[stiffiler's voice]
Dibs this biatch
[/stiffiler's voice]
Well, CC69, you can be everyone's sweet heart on the TCC forum, you know, play the little devil girl image just to keep the susage fest a little bit cheerful. So people would stop FLAMING at each other and whatnot. I am not saying you are the village bike, but you know....
Ok, maybe I should stop talking now before things get a little bit out of control.
*watches American Wedding, again*
15-Mar-2004, 11:18 PM
#19
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: MaRS...seriously
Posts: 2,731
ROFL!!! haha...seen this a few times b4...it never ceases to give me a good laff.
these r my favs:
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape
HA HA..."round is a shape"! OOOOOOOOH MAAAAAAAAN! that one kills me everytime! ha ha...boys r silly.
these r my favs:
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape
HA HA..."round is a shape"! OOOOOOOOH MAAAAAAAAN! that one kills me everytime! ha ha...boys r silly.
