Oh Dear!
30-Mar-2004, 08:58 PM
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Montreal
Posts: 4,508
Oh Dear!
A MAN ESCAPES FROM PRISON WHERE HE HAS BEEN FOR 15 YEARS. HE
BREAKS INTO A HOUSE TO LOOK FOR MONEY AND GUNS AND FINDS A YOUNG COUPLE IN
BED.
HE ORDERS THE GUY OUT OF BED AND TIES HIM TO A CHAIR. WHILE TYING
THE GIRL TO THE BED HE GETS ON TOP OF HER, KISSES HER NECK, THEN GETS
UP AND GOES INTO THE BATHROOM.
WHILE HE'S IN THERE, THE HUSBAND TELLS HIS WIFE: "LISTEN, THIS
GUY'S AN ESCAPED CONVICT, LOOK AT HIS CLOTHES! HE PROBABLY SPENT LOTS OF
TIME IN JAIL AND HASN'T SEEN A WOMAN IN YEARS. I SAW HOW HE KISSED YOUR
NECK. IF HE WANTS SEX, DON'T RESIST, DON'T COMPLAIN, DO WHATEVER HE TELLS
YOU. SATISFY HIM NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE NAUSEATES YOU. THIS GUY IS
PROBABLY VERY DANGEROUS. IF HE GETS ANGRY, HE'LL KILL US. BE STRONG, HONEY.
I LOVE YOU"
TO WHICH THE WIFE RESPONDS: "HE WASN'T KISSING MY NECK. HE WAS
WHISPERING IN MY EAR. HE TOLD ME HE WAS GAY, THOUGHT YOU WERE
CUTE, AND ASKED IF WE HAD ANY VASELINE. I TOLD HIM IT WAS IN THE BATHROOM.
BE STRONG HONEY. I LOVE YOU TOO!!"
BREAKS INTO A HOUSE TO LOOK FOR MONEY AND GUNS AND FINDS A YOUNG COUPLE IN
BED.
HE ORDERS THE GUY OUT OF BED AND TIES HIM TO A CHAIR. WHILE TYING
THE GIRL TO THE BED HE GETS ON TOP OF HER, KISSES HER NECK, THEN GETS
UP AND GOES INTO THE BATHROOM.
WHILE HE'S IN THERE, THE HUSBAND TELLS HIS WIFE: "LISTEN, THIS
GUY'S AN ESCAPED CONVICT, LOOK AT HIS CLOTHES! HE PROBABLY SPENT LOTS OF
TIME IN JAIL AND HASN'T SEEN A WOMAN IN YEARS. I SAW HOW HE KISSED YOUR
NECK. IF HE WANTS SEX, DON'T RESIST, DON'T COMPLAIN, DO WHATEVER HE TELLS
YOU. SATISFY HIM NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE NAUSEATES YOU. THIS GUY IS
PROBABLY VERY DANGEROUS. IF HE GETS ANGRY, HE'LL KILL US. BE STRONG, HONEY.
I LOVE YOU"
TO WHICH THE WIFE RESPONDS: "HE WASN'T KISSING MY NECK. HE WAS
WHISPERING IN MY EAR. HE TOLD ME HE WAS GAY, THOUGHT YOU WERE
CUTE, AND ASKED IF WE HAD ANY VASELINE. I TOLD HIM IT WAS IN THE BATHROOM.
BE STRONG HONEY. I LOVE YOU TOO!!"
31-Mar-2004, 05:01 AM
#15
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Southern California
Posts: 6,405
i got one forya
(its pretty long so ill try to shorten it as much as posible)
guy and girl get a harley bike.
biker at the dealer hands the guy vaseline, and says to rub it on all the chrome on the bikeif it rains or is damp.
when they are cruising the girl tells the guy she wants him to meet and have dinner with parents.
he agrees.
before the go to sit at the table, girls stops guy and tells him that while eating, they can talk all they want, but as soon as the last bite is taken by the last person, you must be quiet, the first on to talk does all the dishes.
the guy is like no prob.
so they eat and chat about the new bike and what not and he cant wait to go drive it some more.
so the mom takes the last bite and everyone is silent.
20 minutes go by and not a peep.
the guy really wants to ride his bike so he decides to try to get someone to talk.
so he leans over and lays a big ol kiss on his girl.
the parents dont say a word.
the guy is like damn, i thought for sure that would get a reaction.
20 more minutes go by and not a peep.
he is getting upset cuz he wants to ride so bad.
so he grabs his girl, lays her on the top of the dinner table, and has his way with her right in front of the parents.
the parents still say nothing.
20 MORE minutes go by and he is like geez, i know they arent mute or anything.
so then he decides to grap the mother and so he humps the crap out of her on top of the table right in front of her husband.
no one says anything.
20 minutes go by and all of a sudden the guy hears rain outside.
so remembering the biker form the shop, he pulls out the vaseline.
right then the father jumps up and shouts "ALRIGHT, I'LL DO THE GODDAMN DISHES!!"
(its pretty long so ill try to shorten it as much as posible)
guy and girl get a harley bike.
biker at the dealer hands the guy vaseline, and says to rub it on all the chrome on the bikeif it rains or is damp.
when they are cruising the girl tells the guy she wants him to meet and have dinner with parents.
he agrees.
before the go to sit at the table, girls stops guy and tells him that while eating, they can talk all they want, but as soon as the last bite is taken by the last person, you must be quiet, the first on to talk does all the dishes.
the guy is like no prob.
so they eat and chat about the new bike and what not and he cant wait to go drive it some more.
so the mom takes the last bite and everyone is silent.
20 minutes go by and not a peep.
the guy really wants to ride his bike so he decides to try to get someone to talk.
so he leans over and lays a big ol kiss on his girl.
the parents dont say a word.
the guy is like damn, i thought for sure that would get a reaction.
20 more minutes go by and not a peep.
he is getting upset cuz he wants to ride so bad.
so he grabs his girl, lays her on the top of the dinner table, and has his way with her right in front of the parents.
the parents still say nothing.
20 MORE minutes go by and he is like geez, i know they arent mute or anything.
so then he decides to grap the mother and so he humps the crap out of her on top of the table right in front of her husband.
no one says anything.
20 minutes go by and all of a sudden the guy hears rain outside.
so remembering the biker form the shop, he pulls out the vaseline.
right then the father jumps up and shouts "ALRIGHT, I'LL DO THE GODDAMN DISHES!!"
