imported_ERTW

lets hear some creative ideas.

i don't mean sticking your business card in her underwear or randomly wasting money buying drinks... something creative and simple that we can all learn from

imported_trackhack

Tactics change depending both on the location of the "picking up" and the type of girl that your looking for.

In my experience making a woman feel confortable and making her laugh has proved successful.

imported_ERTW

i'm asking for funny stories, not a guide

spracingsports

rent a ferrari for a night..... $250
fresh outfit..........................$150
gas money for cruising........$60
getting so much ***, your crotch hurts
in the morning...................PRICELESS

imported_ERTW

do you return the car first thing in the morning, or still drive her home in it?

imported_Zyepher

All depends on your macking game.

imported_Bruce Fee

like 5 years ago I picked up a 'thug lover' at a pub while I was under the influence of the food that smurfs live in.

I was sitting there staring at objects wobble and people vibrate and melt while this chick thought i was some hardcore thug. i sat around and stared cause stuff looked cool and i just look mean.

after going out with her a few times she realized i was more of a metal head/punk and i was laughing at her when she expected me to 'take care' of her ex-boyfriend drug dealer, father of her baby that i didn't know about until that last night who's house she lived at two weeks before meeting me.

all the broads i've picked up, i've either been whacked out.. or i've met through girls i know who assure them i'm not a pscyhopath after they meet me when i'm sober.

Apparantly when trying to 'break the ice' for a road trip with your friend and two girls you never met, you shouldn't talk about how you hope to slit at least on throat over the weekend or about the new gun you allegedly have on your person. The girls didn't talk at all for the ride up.. but once they were forced to spend 72 hours with me.. decided they liked me.. haha

also, don't show a girl your knife by flicking it in front of her throat. we did that while wild water rafting at the community bon fire. she pretty much avoided me and my friend, but the laughs for the rest of the weekend were worth it.

imported_Zyepher

My friend has a moto; Get whatever you can whenever you can and this is why he gets grls like these:


but then again I prefer a certain caliber of females

iLLmAtiC 7407

ahhh man, she has **** on her shirt, NASsssssssssstyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

spracingsports

drove both of the ladies home, then returned it

imported_Fug

LMFAO!!!...thats awesome!

imported_Zyepher

Nobody here wants to know the whole story.

imported_Zyepher

No its not, shes a homeless, fatass (250-270lb') chick...I dont even want to go into detail about the story...ask illmatic

imported_Fug

hahahaha, are u serious that she is homeless? thats just sinking so low, hahaha, how could he even want to touch that poon with a 10 ft pole? gah, that guy looks familiar too....lol

97SiR

Where did u fit two girls in a Ferrari?

imported_Fug

haha, its prolly BS......i

imported_ERTW

now that is what i'm talking about.. this is funny ****

Zyepher, please do share the full story with us

k_r_a_c_k_e_r

iTrader: (3)

you S.O.B!!. thats the chick you were trying to hook me up with?. JESUS!!!. do I look that desperate??

spracingsports

nope im serious. one was still asleep.

imported_Zyepher

K story goes like this..My friend brian came over (guy in the pic). He's chlling on msn when some chick add's up to msn and just talks to him and sends pics of herself (not her, some hot blonde). She simply asks "do you want to chill" so he said "yess", he then asked him if she could chill here and I said twenty minutes tops then he can take her home. So after talking to her about getting to sauga' from Toronto she arrives at the doorstep. I tell brian to just go upstairs and let her come into the basement at that time I hear giggling coming from brian and nothing but HUGE steps (almost about to break my damn stairs). All I see is a 250 pound, homeless, dirty and stinky bitch chilling in my basement, being the nice friend I am I let them chill while I go on tcc to do some quick post whoring..All I hear is *suck slurp sounds*...I turn my head to see that she is giving him oral sex and he gives me the thumbs up (at this point im talking to kracker on msn and blasting kanye west to get this **** off my mind). This is where it gets nasty BE WARNED....











I hear the table slide from its spot and see her in a doggy position naked () at this point I cant stop it because her body smells so bad I cant come close...They start engaging in sex (mind you she is x3 the size of him)..They have sex an what not and he gives her a facial..well he tried but his lack of shooting ability gets it all over her neck (ughh)..This is where it gets worse..he gets a jolly within 10 seconds (i dont know how)..They pull out the ** (She has not cleaned herself in a near week...at all.....). After awhile im just on the computer egnorin until I hear loud moans and etc..Then I hear a fart that shaked my whole room..He quickly runs into my coldroom and I proceed to follow him and I said "WHAT THE **** BRIAN?!?" he looks at me and says "bro, she ****ing shat on me"...As I see that large fart she had while having **** sex some how shot out poo pieces all over is jeans, boxers and stomach...now he just goes whatever wipes it and goes back. I know some of you would be like "I would ****ing kick them out, but I couldn't because everytime I looked that way I would get sick". Needless to say after having 1.5 hour of sex with something so horrid. This is when I tell both of them to get the **** out of my house and go to brians house so she can eat...4 Hours later. I'm chilling with illmatic and sir_88crx at his base and get a phone call from brian saying come over...This is when illmatic grabs the camera for a memorable time. We go there and his parents are in true uproar because she has no money, no i.d., no place to stay. Needless to say the s.o.b banged her one more time and her parents just dropped her off at the sq1 bus terminal with 3 veal sammies, 10 bucks and a pack of smokes. I had pictures of his ruined pants with **** on them. as well illmatic got him to sniff the pants for a joint which he did but i accidently deleted the pic ..Anywho now he's going to get tested for h.i.v because he ****ed a homeless girl in the *** with NO DOME....

sorry for my lack of sentence structure ( no time)..later