Gallagher

Tramp

n.
1.
a. A heavy footfall.
b. The sound produced by heavy walking or marching.

2. A walking trip; a hike.

3. One who travels aimlessly about on foot, doing odd jobs or begging for a living; a vagrant.
a. A prostitute.
b. A person regarded as promiscuous.

4. Nautical. A tramp steamer.

5. A metal plate attached to the sole of a shoe for protection, as when spading ground.

imported_Moe_Mentum

I was thinking I haven't seen the purple pastels ... pink pastels? I have yellow and blue myself. Alright so I suppose you have me on that one.

But I will stay strong on my other points

Cynikal.Mindset

women are pigs, well atleast in my circle of friends thats what some are refered to

Connie

Just because Im fat, doesn't mean I am actually a pig

Gallagher

Dear Women Who Think Men Are Pigs,

I must point out a few things which may be dry and boring in order to establish the veracity of what I'm about to write. First off, this is a Rant and Rave, so I don't care if you like me or not, if you reply to me or not, or even if you believe me or not, whoever you may be. Therefore I have no reason to lie. Secondly, I am in every sense a good guy. I don't lie. I've never cheated on any girlfriends, I don't cheat on my taxes, I like helping people, I'm good looking and have plenty of dates when I want to. I have a strong value system, and good morals, a great job, I'm not rich but comfortable, I have excellent credit. I've never had a one night stand. I have the utmost respect for women, and have consistently conducted myself as such over the years (I'm 34). Point: I'm what anyone who ever met me would think is a great guy, and that's the truth.

In addition to all that, I want to **** almost every woman I see. But alas, I cannot. If I could I might.

The intention of this rant/rave is to defend my myself and my brothers across the universe from all the women who think we are pigs for that reason.

I realized one day when I was about 13 years old (estimate) that I wanted to **** almost every woman I see when I walked outside and I wanted to **** almost every woman I saw. That's how it happened. I didn't go to bed the night before and think to myself "hey self - I just got a GREAT idea. Ya know ... all those women all around everywhere all the time? Well, starting tomorrow, let's want to **** almost all of them. Better - let's not simply want to **** them - let's have a burning and raging desire to **** them. Let's make it so the first thing we think when we see a woman who is even remotely attractive is that we want to **** the living crap out of them. Oh we're rolling now!! If a woman's not really that attractive, let's single out one aspect of her that could be attractive and want to **** her anyway!!!! Let's make it even greater by wanting to bend them over if they have nice asses. Let's feel COMPELLED TO WANT THIS. Let this compulsion GROW directly in proportion to how hot the woman is!!!! Let's ALWAYS do this no matter what!!! This will be really great because we'll want to **** them REALLY BADLY ... but WE WON"T BE ABLE TO!!!! In fact let's not look back. Let's continue to want to **** almost ALL OF THEM even though WE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AND WE KNOW THIS!!!!!" Yeah, that's what I did. I DECIDED to be that way.

I must convey in no uncertain terms the compulsion that all men have. It is biological. We have no choice. Picture, ladies, for a moment if you will:

You're starving. Literally. Forget about why you're starving, just know that you are. You are so hungry that you feel like you're about to pass out. Suddenly a (insert favorite food here) passes by right in front of your eyes. Social conformities and edicate then dictate to you that you CANNOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE:

a) feel like you want to eat that food
b) can CERTAINLY not look at the food like you want to eat it
c) if you approach the food in such a way that indicates you want to eat it it will be worse than a or b i.e.: you CAN NEVER do this.

Please keep in mind as I continue to draw the analogy that I am by no means comparing women to food. That would be degrading, and (other than the fact that I want to **** almost every woman I see), I would never intentionally be degrading toward women. The analogy is drawn upon the URGE. You have a compelling and inescapable urge to EAT that simply cannot be questioned or denied. Well, I have a compelling and inescapable urge to **** YOU that cannot be escaped or denied. It's no different. With the exception of course that I in all likelihood cannot **** you. But the urge remains.

Exhale deeply. Right at the turnover point where you would normally inhale, hold yourself back from inhaling. At first it's okay, but after a few seconds it gets uncomfortable. A few seconds more and it's worse. A few seconds more and you're feeling like you really need to breathe. A few seconds more, and you get a sense of desperation for air that is so compelling you have no choice but to breathe in. That feeling illustrates how desperately I want to **** you. Your urge to breathe in is my urge to **** you. But of course, again I cannot **** you.

What? You're my girlfriends mother? I want to **** you. I've jerked off to it.

You're a somewhat older lady on the street? You have nice legs though. You also have experience. I want to **** you.

You're a smoking hot chic in super tight jeans strutting your stuff down the avenue? I'd like to **** you so badly that I want to stab myself in the eyes with two pencils because the pain of that will be a relief from the sheer force of the desire I have right now to JUMP YOUR BONES AND BANG THE ****ING CRAP OUT OF YOU RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

And all this .... I chose it. Yep.

So the next time you're walking down the street and a guy's stare lingers for a tenth of a second too long, or maybe even an innocent comment is passed, please know that all he is is starving, unable to breathe, surrounded by chicken wings, and bleeding from the eyes.

Cut us some slack eh?

imported_Moe_Mentum

So the pigs are f*cking the dogs? haha that's pretty much what this has come down to. Overall we have done nothing but lower the entire being of human existance. If I were an alien I would laugh my bulbous head off at this thread.

Oh well I have yet to prove beyond a reasonable doubt why women have it easier. I guess I will just have to settle with Men being better.

imported_TuttiGirl

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THEN MEN

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch
(and then never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the
most important thing is that you're together.
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but
there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to
you.)
Dogs understand what "no" means.
Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.
Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
You can house train a dog.
You can force a dog to take a bath.
Dogs don't correct your stories.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.
Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
Dogs take care of their own needs.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
Dogs are nice to your relatives.

J-SKI

i don't understand the part about dogs admiting when their lost...if they can do that then ****...that dogs got one leg up on me!

Nova_Dust

People who believe in stereotype of both men and women are so because they are the ones being stereotyped, while, they fall directly into the said category - stereotypically speaking.

I pity you.

Cynikal.Mindset

charles, you thread killer!!!!


Mr. Dave, this is an opportunity to introduce a threesome into the mix...yea, try that shoul work in your favour and if not you dont want em anyways and move on.

Men Rule!!!

Double_B

Not that I believe this but thought since it seems to be a man vs woman thread, here is something I got today

bdotdan

thats cause they can't drive, much like women lol

imported_TuttiGirl

Hey I can drive well, better then SOME men.

bdotdan

worse than most

Connie

I can't believe this is still going on.. I thought it might have died down now...

Mandie when will the boys realize, girls are better!!!!

imported_Bruce Fee

you don't see too many boys getting mad at internet friends and leaving the forum while making a big fuss about it.

you are all individuals.

never let any preconceived notion about yourself hold you down.

Also, realize some people are just garbage.

Connie

Actually yea! the three boyz who left with me

RajunCajun

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THEN MEN

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. --- Why is there a need? It's sickening when I watch others do it, so I'm extending a curtosy.
Dogs miss you when you're gone. --- So do we, who's gonna take the dog for a walk? (kidding)
You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you. --- This one pissed me off. I've never heard a guy talk about whether his girl is "good enough" for him. Self-righteous woman talk.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong. --- We would too if you told us what the hell we did!
Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with. --- Not all men do. At least the ones that don't need a cheap ego boost.
Dogs don't criticize your friends. --- Okay to be fair with this one, they deserve it.
Dogs admit when they're jealous. --- We do too, you just aren't picking up the "signs".
Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch
(and then never laugh at how you throw). --- Woah Woah, check the mirror. Yeah, those girl magazines with the rating systems and how to tell if your man is worth keeping etc etc. Next.
Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the
most important thing is that you're together. --- Well, we're together for about 3 minutes until the opening trailers are done, then we fall asleep. We can't help it.
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence. --- Yet another self-righteous comment for the women. In fact, any girl that I've thought has made a blatent mistake I told was cute, and she got upset at me. Next.
You can train a dog. --- To what? Stay awake through a "romantic comedy"?
Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies. --- We are our inner puppies. Thus why we will always tease you and play video games (or atleast watch).
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams. --- Please refer to the earlier 'good enough for me' point. Are you dreaming about men who are good enough for you?
Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous. --- What? Last I checked a good looking woman is the one with the low cut top on and tight jeans. Any man that 'stuts his stuff' is hated by both parties.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but
there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to
you.) --- Social disease? I'm pretty sure this one goes both ways.
Dogs understand what "no" means. --- No, I cannot take the garbage out until the commercial. Huh, I guess both parties have a tough time understanding the concept.
Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization. --- If you're a guy and you're going to therapy because you're an intravert that stays home watching Jeopardy. It's probably because your girlfriend thought you weren't good enough for her.
Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species. --- When we want to kill something, it knows it. Women will kill piece by piece from the inside out until it wants to kill itself.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside. --- I can concur with this one.
Dogs think you are a culinary genius. --- Uh, no. We don't. Unless you really are.
You can house train a dog. --- But you can't teach a woman to put gas in the car.
You can force a dog to take a bath. --- If you don't shower on a regular basis, you're probably single and it doesn't matter anyways.
Dogs don't correct your stories. --- Because the dog doesn't care how much you overexaggerate.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner. --- Just because we have an older model, doesn't mean we can't shop around for ideas on upgraded features.
Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair. --- I didn't find G.I. Jane threatening in the least.
Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair. --- At this point they're probably women's rights activists and I'm still not threatened.
Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving. --- We don't mind it at all, just as long as you let us sleep during the ride.
Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake. --- If we're sleeping, problem solved.
Dogs admit it when they're lost. --- If you let us buy that expensive Navi unit then we wouldn't be lost.
Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff. --- Why should you care? I'm hanging onto it 95% of the time while you're in the changeroom for 2 hours trying stuff on.
Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs. --- Then don't bother us when we don't shower.
Dogs take care of their own needs. --- Depending on the 'need', beer, pizza and a bigscreen will hold us for a while.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do. --- As long as you cook the bacon after you bring it home.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you. --- That's a matter of opinion. Apparently we never 'mean it' when we kiss you unless we submit a written and signed document stating we do.
Dogs are nice to your relatives. --- In all fairness most are pretty crazy and I'm sure even freak you out.

**Yes some if not all are chauvanistic, most were done in the name of humour and are not my actual viewpoints**

Connie

wow you have ALOT of time on your hands

RajunCajun

I'm home sick with nothing to do... don't pick on the man.