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Redneck Valentine poem

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Old 14-Feb-2005, 10:40 AM
  #1  
Double_B
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Redneck Valentine poem

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than ole Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still, them fellers at work, they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
 
Old 14-Feb-2005, 10:44 AM
  #2  
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LOL good one!
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Old 14-Feb-2005, 10:45 AM
  #3  
Tego
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LOL! I'm going to send this to my g/f as a joke!
 
Old 14-Feb-2005, 11:21 AM
  #4  
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lol
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Old 14-Feb-2005, 11:30 AM
  #5  
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Old 14-Feb-2005, 11:50 AM
  #6  
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lol! good one
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Old 14-Feb-2005, 11:54 AM
  #7  
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too long..........
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Old 14-Feb-2005, 12:02 PM
  #8  
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ya its to long but its funny
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Old 14-Feb-2005, 12:36 PM
  #9  
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i'm not fluent in redneck, so I had a "helluva" time to "git 'r done"
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Old 14-Feb-2005, 04:13 PM
  #10  
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hahaha thats good but yeah im also not to fluent in hillbillie
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Old 14-Feb-2005, 10:42 PM
  #11  
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Hill-billy from our class would love this!!!
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Old 15-Feb-2005, 01:08 AM
  #12  
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yeah ill get him to translat for us tomorrow
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