Roacho2

The first girl I was with a chick who was basically a corpse in bed.

she'd lie there, ******, and I'd do everything.

She wouldn't even go down on me, ever.

I was taking really long to finish, I was kinda drunk, and I wanted her to do some work for once. Wasn't happening.

I had had enough (after about 6 months of that), so I told her I was going home to finish the job myself.

I got dressed and did just that.

That was the last time we were intimate. hahahahaha

I'm the best.

imported_MartinGouda

"do it like your sister does"

Miss Perfect

"is it in yet?"

J

"I can't find the hole"

shlammed

you ride her doggy style for a while...ask her how she likes it when she says she loves it you grab onto her ponytail and say her sister is better and see if you can hang on for 8 seconds

Roacho2

one guy once told me the worst thing he ever told a girl was "you look like a stripper"

my guess was that he was a virgin.

He still is.

Gallagher

"whats that stentch ?"


"i'm bored"


"sorry, I jerked off just b4 this"

imported_corcoran_chris

"TROOOOOJAN MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUuUUuUN"

( from the commercial )

as I slide the condom on


needles to say she was laughing...


ohh its supposed to be something bad?

then she queefed and laughed, and said sorry I could totally feel the pressure buildng up in there?

then I said

" I didnt, good cover up"

imported_Promoking

haha some funny stuff.


I had to tell this chick once to be carefull and stop using her teeth. It was like getting head from a cheesegrater.

Anytime you try to get a new girl into letting you go in the backdoor is always a funny situation. For some reason it becomes a comedy act.

justlooking

When she gets really close to finishing

pull out and ask her "Who's the Boss"

and don't start again until she says "Tony Micelli" or "Tony Danza"

That gets them pissed but at least you get a good laugh out of it!

TranceaddicT

LOL these are awsome!

imported_97CivicHB

Roacho2

i was my boxers at this broads house. i sat on the couch, leaned back and told her to dance for me.

she threw my pants at me and told me to go home cause she 'doesn't do that'

imported_chillinit

HAHAHAH

bbarbulo

iTrader: (2)

did you leave her there behind the industrial complex? haha

punkindrublic

one of my female friends enjoys strip clubs with me ... yes the female ones... so she takes it as a compliment when i say she should be a stripper... plus she's good at it

imported_CIVIC_BAM

This chick said my name to her boyfriend.... oopps.

imported_JookSingKid

"I'm gonna **** ya till your eyes pop outta your head"

"I'm gonna **** ya til you ***** turns inside out"

"ride me so hard you bust my **** off with your *****"

imported_Vato_Loco

This was about 3 years ago, this what I exactly said to her while she was giving me head. "You're doing it exactly like "Sarah does!"

Nova_Dust

To one of my ex

"****, your ***** really stinks!"
*slurp slurps slurps...*

From another ex

"aawww.... my *** is bleeding..... did you know you ****ed me in the *** in the last couple storkes?

Me: "really? I didn't feel the difference"